I find myself in unfamiliar territory. See, my credit has been far from perfect for many years. But recently, it seems to have taken a turn for the better, or worse given your point of view.

I get most of my computer hardware from Newegg.com. If you compared computers to cocaine, then Newegg would be the supplier of my habit. If I didn’t have Newegg, I’d have to brave the high school peons with the spiffy blue shirts at Best Buy who can’t understand why I don’t want an extended service policy and constantly remind me that they don’t work on commissions so I can feel free to find anyone lest I need assistance. Thanks. I think I’ll venture through the aisles just fine on my own.

But I digress.

Anytime I am need of hardware, or just to check out current prices, I click on my bookmark for Newegg and feed the habit. I constantly add items to my shopping cart just to remove them later. I run through the checkout process all the way to the last step just to chicken out and surf off to another corner of the internet.

But every now and then, I would pause at the BillMeLater advert. Sometimes I would click on the application process just to verify that they don’t need my money badly enough to extend any credit to me. At least that was the case up until about a week ago. It took me a few minutes of re-reading to realize that somehow the planets and their moons aligned in the correct orientation long enough to be approved for a Newegg Preferred Account. Quickly, before they came to their senses, I placed an order for some hardware I had been putting off until the time was right. I didn’t see a reason to argue with myself any longer.

Not quite feeling lucky enough, I remember seeing the good old BillMeLater icons elsewhere. Most notably at Lenovo, laptop/notebook maker of my dreams. They always turned me down. But, I figured what would it hurt to try? As in the past, I built a laptop, placed in the cart, and went through the checkout process awaiting the usual denial page. Well let this be a reminder to you all: There is no step between application and purchase. I was congratulated for becoming the proud owner of a brand new Lenovo laptop. Yipee!!

By the way, at this moment it’s being held by the broker in Kentucky after being stuck in China for an extra day because of mechanical problems with the plane and somehow disappearing for three days in Alaska. 

Now that I’m sure my credit has been extended beyond its limits, there’s no possible way this streak could continue. Then comes my regular email from Old Navy. They’re announcing the ability to shop at Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic, and Piperlime at the same time. So, after bouncing around their site for a half hour, I notice the link for the Old Navy Credit Card. Sticking another round in the chamber, I fire off an application. Lo and behold, I should have my card in the mail within a few days.

Then there’s that system beep that tells me I just got some new email. About the Old Navy card? Nope. Amazon.com wants to remind me of a new book being published soon, one that I’ve been waiting for. And guess what Amazon has? That’s right, an Amazon Card managed by the very same people that just approved me for the Old Navy card. There’s no possible way they would approve me twice in the same hour. But in the end, I was proven wrong. I’ll probably get the Amazon and the Old Navy cards on the same day.

My wallet is going to be so thick that I won’t be able to fit in my pocket, and all because of these little plastic cards with my name on them. But my experiment is not over. Let’s push the envelope. This has been for small time store cards. What about a major credit card. Just as I was writing this, I hopped over to Barnes & Noble and saw that they have a MasterCard. It took all of about 60 seconds. Approved.

Feeling cocky, I head over to the American Express website. I can’t go to bed without knowing. One more bullet in the chamber. One more application to fill out. I need to know. And then it happens. Denial. Yes! Finally! Someone has seen the light! The weight has been lifted. The stress and tension subsides. It wasn’t a dream, after all. The word must have gotten out to the creditors. Economic Stimulus checks are being mailed out and they must get their grubby little hands on them.

Goodnight.

I would like to perform all those tasks with the Eee since they really don’t require a lot of computational power and the form factor of the Eee means I could do them virtually anywhere. However, doing so would mean carrying around an unsecured laptop with sensitive data, and that’s just not acceptable.

I’m waiting to place an order at Newegg for some upgrades which includes memory and storage. I’m hoping to attempt something radical that I haven’t seen mentioned anywhere. Either no-one’s thought of it, or I haven’t been looking in the right places. Be that as it may, once I get the Eee secured enough to be happy with it, I can move my operation over to it.

As I look at the collection of computers, I never imagined that I’d be operating more than one machine. I currently have two laptops and two desktops. They all serve specific functions and enjoy a fluctuating state of powered status. I am currently planning a fifth computer to act as a central file server. That’s five. Any more and I’m going to start needing a second hand to count them all.