Fiction: Firey Advice
“Investigators at the scene describe it as a pile of ash mixed with pajamas and a laptop computer. Only after countless hours in a forensics lab were they able to piece together what was left of the burnt laptop’s hard drive. On it they found what they describe as the victim’s last interaction with humanity. It was an email sent from a person calling themselves, simply, ‘Blaze’. Only the last fragment was intact. It read as follows:
‘…too funny! Make sure you get outside to…’
“Experts in the field of paranormal activity describe the event much like a horror film. When the unsuspecting victim stepped outside into the springtime sunlight, he spontaneously combusted. They say he was most certainly… a vampire!
“Witnesses living across the street talk of a blinding flash of light that scorched the walls through any unshaded windows in the apartment complex. Fortunately, nothing else caught fire, but new paint and wallpaper will definitely be on the superintendent’s shopping list.
“Luckily, the only casualty was the unfortunate young man who left this world in a biblical way: ash to ash, dust to dust.
“Next up on tonight’s news, while men are burning up in Euclid, our beloved Tribe set the roof of the Yankees new home on fire! Watch after the break as we highlight everything including a 14 run second inning as they go on to rout them 22-4. More after this….”
From: Eddie Blasier
To: Adam Stovicek
Sent: Saturday, April 18, 2009 9:23:12 AM
Subject: Re: the officeI do! Good looking out, we watched Thurs. of this week episode last night, too funny! Make sure you get outside today!
Blaze
From: Adam Stovicek
To: Edward Blasier
Sent: Saturday, April 18, 2009 1:22:02 AM
Subject: the office[deleted hulu link]
That should be the one you missed if you still need to see it.
