AdamStovicek.com

Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category

I haven’t investigated the reasoning behind it, but game publishers through Facebook are asking their players to submit email addresses under the premise that Facebook will make it impossible for them to keep players up to date. That must not be eliciting enough of a response because FarmVille seems to be resorting to extortion tactics by offering free stuff in return for email addresses.

"The box is locked! You need the passcode to unlock it! Want us to email you the passcode? Sign up for FarmVille emails!"

There are some really classy people at Facebook. Take for instance the following chat that took place in a Zynga Texas Hold’Em chat room. This guy, J.F., wanted some chips from what I presumed was a friend, A.W., a rather attractive girl from her profile picture.

J.F.: a. send me sum chips plzz hun
A.W.: hahahha no
J.F.: ok
J.F.: fuuck you than
P.W.: charming
A.W.: done it j
J.F.: ty hun
J.F.: no you hav not
A.W.: il try again :|
A.W.: its not lettin me j
J.F.: is ok hun
J.F.: cum in a room wiv me and fold

That boy needs a beat down with the manners-stick.

A: G	N: Y
B: E	O: W
C: X	P: F
D: O	Q: N
E: R	R: V
F: I	S: D
G: A	T: M
H: 	U: L
I: Z	V: T
J: H	W: K
K: S	X: P
L: B	Y: C
M: U	Z:

I don’t even want to know, but there’s over 3,000,000 results for it.

Who the hell is looking for boners? I check the search terms that are used to find different posts on the site and the one that is used the most is boner. Granted, the word “boner” shows up a lot on my spam recount postings, but really.

Let’s guarantee that this post as well shows up for everyone…

• boner
• limpdick.com
• huge boner
• long boner
• bed boner
• tiny boner
• how to get a boner
• public boner pics
• how to achieve a boner.

And those are just from the last seven days with some appearing on more than one. Let’s add some new ones so I can catch even more boner obsessed individuals.

• schlong
• biggus dickus
• one-eyed trouser snake
• cock
• penis
• penis head
• purple headed warrior
• wood
• pecker
• pecker head
• fuck stick
• wang
• ramrod
• johnson
• prick
• love muscle
• Mr. Happy
• magic wand

That’s all I can think of without searching. Are there anymore we can add? Comments are moderated, but anyone can post a suggestion(s). I missed the good old days when we were more interested in seeing some tit. Janet Jackson must have killed that off with the “wardrobe malfunction” a few years back.

To the person(s) asking about “how to achieve a boner” or “how to get a boner”: if you’re a man you look for boobs, if you’re a woman you flash your boobs. Either or, and I guarantee a boner will find you, not the other way around.

Ta-ta… hmmm…. ta-tas….. boy-oy-oy-iiiinnnnggggg!!!!

Man I miss Beavis and Butthead….

I ranted a few days ago about the actions of a so-called good samaritan that almost led to a serious vehicle accident involving myself and at least one other party. Looking back, I can’t lay the blame entirely on the good samaritan. The road in question is notorious for being difficult to enter. Numerous businesses line both sides of the street for almost its entire length, and it’s long and heavily traveled. That wasn’t the first time someone tried to enter traffic from that driveway and try to turn left at the same time. They certainly won’t be the last.

I just think that had the good samaritan retained control of his right of way as he was legally allowed to do, the other party would not have felt obligated to take the opening provided to him and put himself into a dangerous position. I could not see the other party entering traffic. My first observation was watching all of the cars in front of the good samaritan traveling away while he didn’t move. As I was about a car length and a half away, I noticed the other party venturing out. They weren’t looking in my direction and never yielded until they heard screeching tires. By then, the other party was completely blocking my lane of traffic.

I was traveling about 30 miles per hour and had to lock up the tires in order to stop. The following day, I drove by the same area and could see my tire tracks on the pavement. I ended up pointing towards the traffic coming in the opposite direction and my left tire had stopped halfway between the double-yellow lines. There was an SUV approaching from the other direction that had to stop just as fast and was slightly past my front bumper when it did. I was on the phone with my brother at the time (more about that a little later) and could very well have not paid attention as closely as I had. The end result could have been catastrophic.

At work, we call these kinds of events “Near Misses”. It’s an accident that had the potential of being much worse than it actually was. Investigations are conducted, reports are made, rules are updated and mandated. The end result is having company-wide meetings where everyone is made aware of the changes in the rules including the possible reprimands should they be broken in the future.

It would certainly be nice to shut down that driveway.

Let me paint the scene. There’s a small shopping strip that has two driveways. The first driveway exits to a four lane road. The second driveway exits to a side street that intersects with said four land road which is controlled by a traffic signal. Often times, there are people wanting to make a left turn from this shopping strip and opt for the first driveway to the four lane road. This presents a problem of accessibility as the aforementioned traffic signal is only a short distance away and causes stopped traffic to block this driveway. The more efficient route would be to exit to the side road and utilize the traffic signal to stop traffic and allow a clear intersection in which to make the left turn.

Understood? Great. Now enters the good samaritan.

Along comes the good samaritan that will wave an exiting driver out on to the main road while they retain further blocking traffic behind them. They understand how difficult it can be to enter traffic on such a busy road and feel obligated to do the Christian thing and yield their own right of way, and consequently everyone else’s behind them, to the other driver. While this may work well in instances where the main road only has two lanes, one in each direction, it creates a great potential for injury and/or death when presented with multi-lane roads.

Today, I was subjected to such a yielding, unbeknownst to me at the time. I was one of those unfortunate souls that was traveling down that extra lane with no knowledge that a minivan was about to appear from nowhere directly in front of me and stop. Imagine my heart rate when I finally came to a stop a mere three inches from impacting the minivan AND the SUV traveling in the opposite direction that I was angling towards from trying to maneuver out of the minivan’s way.

The occupants of the minivan were an elderly couple, which I quickly estimated to be in their late 70s or early 80s, enjoying the fruits of their retirement by going shopping in the afternoon. Now imagine if I hadn’t been paying as close attention as I had and plowed right into them. Given my speed and the potential angle of impact, it’s quite reasonable to assume that one or both of them would have gone to the hospital, or the morgue. Thankfully, there was no one behind me. If I had been bumped from the rear, even in the slightest amount, I would’ve made contact with the minivan.

In the end, we’re possibly looking at severe damage to my car, the minivan, serious injury or death to a number of parties, collateral damage to surrounding vehicles, and all because someone wanted to be a good samaritan. You really want to be a good samaritan? Follow the rules of the road without deviation. If everyone did as is expected of them, we wouldn’t be paying higher insurance premiums.

I’ve been part of three vehicular accidents during my 18 years of driving. All three were not my fault. The first was because an elderly couple decided to stop in the middle of a bridge on the freeway because they took the wrong lane and were trying to figure out how to get back into the right lane. The second was on my way to a concert during a rain storm in which a van didn’t maintain its lane, entered mine and stopped. This was precipitated by another car that began to spin-out after hydroplaning on the wet pavement from excessive speed. The third was a woman in a van when she backed out of her drive without looking. Today, I narrowly missed a fourth.

Now if the cute redhead I met today wasn’t married, this post would’ve been about a different subject altogether.

Two days in row, two entries in the WTF category. Words can not even begin to summarize this video clip.

Movable Type allows the use of categories, and as such I’ve been adding them when needed. I’m not too fond of some blogs that have almost as many categories as there are posts, but some you just can’t live without. Today, I introduce the WTF category with this entry.

This video clip proves that if you don’t have the market to sell an idea, create a market. Even when you know there’s no way in hell that anyone in their right mind would pay for some crazy idea, convince them otherwise. Ladies and gentleman… the Hawaii Chair.

Props to InformercialReviewer for posting it on YouTube.