• Feel her womb entrance with new length [Sexual Enhancement]
• Cheap Price degree/Bacheelor/masteerMBA/PhDD certificate srhrs 0×6e [Online school]

• Apple iPods explode while charging – Software industry sues eBay for not controlling piracy [malware - flash update]
• Lost writers wrapping up hit series – American athletes denied Chinese visa and are unable to compete in upcoming Olympics [malware - flash update]
• new Olimpic china collection – luxury stuff for Olimpic games. aspecial models with hundred discounts. [Cheap crap / possible Erection Pills]
• Medic assistance share! – Beer is a silent killer? [unknown, but funny]
• SPECIAL OFFERS-Pharmacy Online July Sale 70% [Viagra & Copyright 2008 Microsoft?]
• Bartender Gettts $10,000 Tip on $26 Tab [Sexual Enhancement]
• New recipe for successful love [malware - flash update]
• new sports watches models for Olimpic games [Erection pills]
• Try also each time new unforgettable impressions [bay.liveefilestore.com known spammer]

I think I do pretty well with controlling spam, so if I’m getting these emails, I know other computer users are certainly getting them. And that means I get to recite my usual warning:

If you don’t know the sender of the email, don’t even bother to read it. And for God’s sake, don’t even bother clicking on any links or visit any site contained within the emails. For those times when you think you know the sender, use caution and pay attention.

If some site is asking you to update your Flash player software, don’t use their supplied updater. Go to Adobe’s website and get it straight from the source. Chances are, you already have the latest software.

I’m still laughing at the first listed spam title. “Feel her womb entrance with new length.” Whoo hoo!

• Boner

1. The person was a good dancer.
2. Your size does matter.
3. Prove your manliness!
4. Ram her like never before with your new, enlarged battering ram.
5. There are only a few days left. Are you ready? (She is)
6. How much do men really talk about bad experiences in bed? [x2]
7. Ram your new found longer gun into her and hear her moan.
8. When unzipping means unleashing a monster… watch ladies ooh and aah with delight.
9. 15 Ways to Give Her an Orgasm
10. Achieve all your dreams
11. You have the winning ticket to a larger manhood
12. Achieve all your dreams of super $!ze!
13. Bigger, better, mightier means getting laid more
14. Who says wishes cant come true? [x2]
15. Great nights with your woman are now possible.
16. Kick up your mojo another notch with this huge thang…
17. True masculinity is not complete without a big rod
18. Achieve true manhood and become a real man by clicking here
19. Attracting the girls will be easy with THIS
20. Your bulge never felt so big
21. Make her cry in pleasure when you enter her deep and full.
22. Be the man she always wanted. [x2]
23. You won’t believe the amount you can grow.
24. Thrust DEEPER into her with your new instrument
25. Amazing growth in just a few short weeks can be yours.
26. You have the potential to be really BIG.
27. Always wanted to shaft your shaft deeper into her? Now you can.
28. You will feel GOOD with your bigger tool. [x2]
29. Women LOVE men with huge lovesticks – is yours large enough?
30. it’s normal to be ashamed if you have a small sch1ong, but CHANGE THAT around today
31. Your best present to her is your long hard rod.

• Crap:

1. Cheap stylish repl!c@s for you and your folks!
2. repl!c@s as a gift is a great combination of low price and quality!

• Drugs:

1. Premier meds
2. Nice place to buy cheap meds
3. Gain your so desired well-being
4. Regain your natural health
5. Check out the most attractive medical offer
6. journalese
7. serializable
8. astronauts

Three categories this time around. We’ve added ‘Drugs’ to the list along with ‘Crap’ and ‘Boner’. Although the items listed under ‘Drugs’ could also be listed under ‘Boner’ since they’re advertising Viagra and other boner enhancing drugs, I opted for a separate category as they’re also trying to sell other pharmaceuticals.

• Click here for Guaranteed Growth [Boner]
• Swanky replica watches is a great gift idea for this holiday season [Swanky Fake Crap]
• No longer want to be shy about your item? [Shy Boner Syndrome]
• The zit zapping trick that works overnight! [Tiny Zit-sized Boner]
• Women who love to get it on reveal why their sack sessions are so hot! [Boner Sack]
• There are only a few days left. Are you ready? (She is) [x2] [Boner For Valentine's Day]
• Add length, thickness and girth to your manh00d in just a few short weeks [x2] [Too Short B00ner]
• Your chick will not settle for less, why should you? [x2] [Chicks Like Boner]
• Thick, long, and rock hard erect1ons, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT – thanks to this miracle solution [x2] [Hard Rocking Boner]
• Ever since I started taking this, my girl can’t get her hands or mouth off my d1ck [Clingy Chicks Love Boner]
• The only pen1s enlargement solution that guarantees growth, 100% or your money back. [100% Boner]
• I love how large my c0ck looks now even when flaccid – the results are simply unbelievable. [Limp Boner] *
• When SMALL is a dirty word… [Dirty Boner]
• Show everyone the DIFFERENCE [Deaf Boner]
• Be the king of your bedroom [Elvis Boner]
• Live the life of a casanova when you add 3 inches to an already massive sch1ong [Nova, As In Casanova Boner]
• underfur [Furvert Boner]
• Tired of losing your erect1on halfway during sex? Here is the answer to all your woes. [Woeful Boner]
• thriller [Thriller Boner]
• Those locker room stares will be for the right reason [Staring Boner]

In our Boner vs. Fake Crap contest, Boner wins 23 to 1.

* I was going to link to LimpDick.com, but thought that too much of a shock.

This week’s Spam Recount is (unofficially) sponsored by the Spam Museum in Austin, Minnesota. It’s 16,500 square feet of Spam history. Open all year (closed on Sundays and Mondays between Labor Day and April 30) with free admission, it can be found just off of I-90 at exit 178-B.

This week’s recount has a little more meat to it given that I let it build up for an entire week. We also get some more variety to the mix.

• Bonus Inches Of Pleasure [Boner]
• Alternative Health Products [Healthy Boner]
• Get a new, bigger p3nis easily by clicking here [Bon3r]
• Pleasure all women with the size of your instrument [Musical Boner]
• Get back your sex life with renewed confidence from our certified pen1s enlargement p1lls [1ll1terate Bon3r]
• natural product – success [Natural and Successful Boner]
• God is fair Try our latest d1ck enlargement pills that is all natural [Boner from God]
• Want to be well hung, with a thick, muscular tool? Now you can [Thick Boner]
• Unbelievably cheap high-quality replicas! [Fake Crap]
• Feeling less than ordinary? We’ll make you extraordinary… [Not your ordinary Boner]
• For your pleasure [I think it involves Boner]
• Get yourself a college girl, here [Definite Boner]
• Every girl lives for a Big Man [Boner to die for]
• You’ll never find lower prices for such stylish things! [Stylish Fake Crap]
• Do you wish ladies would have an… [Boner? I hope not!]
• Do you want to change your life? [Non-pumped Boner]
• It works and nothing else can compare! [Phenom Boner]
• Never be frustrated at the size of your dck again with this amazing new product [Bner]
• Rock solid performances every night [Boooooonerrrrrrrr!!!]
• Be the King of the bedroom with you new sceptre [Scary Boner]
• Deep inside her [Deep Boner]
• Herbal for a permanent increase in your length and thickness! [Boner perm]
• Don’t be an average man! ExpressHerbal will lift you up to the top! [Herbal Essence + Boner = Good night!]

So we had twenty-one for Boner and two for Fake Crap. Enjoy the links. Goodnight.

1. 20% gains in girth (Oh boy!)
2. Convenient And Private Ordering! (You didn’t see me order nothing, you see!?!)
3. Everyone has the capacity to GROW. Click here NOW! (Reminds me of a Lewis Black skit)
4. Looking for that perfect Valentine’s Day gift? (Larger erect penis for Mom, too?)
5. Do wilder things with your new big phallus! (SWORD FIGHT!!)

I’m starting to see a trend.